So Canaan's birthday was yesterday, but we spent the whole day at the zoo and I didn't have time to post. We had an amazing day celebrating with our little man, and I will probably do a post on that in the next few days. I just wanted to share the birthday letter I wrote for him this year.
Canaan,
I can't believe I am sitting here writing your 2nd birthday letter. The last two years have flown by and we are so blessed to have you in our lives.
When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was terrified. The twins hadn't even had their first birthday yet. You would be the sixth child. Who even has six kids?! I didn't want to have to deal with the questions and judgment from others. However, a few days after finding out, I called my doctor. He said "I just need to ask, Do you want to keep it?" I was so shocked that I almost crashed my car. "Of course" I answered. And with that any fear, panic, or insecurity I had went away. You were my child and I loved you already. I couldn't believe that someone would even think I wouldn't want you.
Since you've been born life has been crazy, it's been hard, it's been busy; but its also been fun and full of love. I can't imagine life without you. We all love you so much. You are our baby and you bring so much happiness to our family.
You are so funny and love to make people laugh. The older kids love to joke around and make you laugh. Watching you all laugh and goof around together melts my heart. I hope your happiness only grows and your smiles and laughs become more numerous.
As your terrible twos start to rear their ugly head, it's hard to remember how easy you always were. We brought you home and you just fit, like there was always this spot waiting for you. You barely cried, slept awesome, and went with the flow. Now you are getting into everything you can, having meltdowns for no reason, and refusing to leave my side if there is a stranger in the room. But as I sit here now, watching you play with your cars so nicely and quietly, it's hard to remember that you were just emptying the contents of a closet. The truth is that even with your new curiousity and stubborness, you are still easy. You still go with the flow and are usually happy.
I'm not sure if I'll ever have another baby. You might be forever known as "the baby". Because of this I may be too easy on you. I'm not in a rush to take away your pacifier or get you out of your crib. I let you get away with a little more than any of the other kids were allowed to. I want to hold on to all of the baby left in you because I don't want to forget what it's like. I don't want to forget your little, chubby baby hands, or the little blonde curls in your hair. The ones I know will never be the same after your first haircut. I don't want to forget the big, wet baby kisses or the way you smile and run to hug me with I come back from being gone. Even if I was only gone for 5 minutes, you are still always so happy to see me.
You are a boy, and a tough one at that. I know that one day you will be embarrassed to be seen with me, but I hope that you never love me any less than you do right now. You, and your siblings, keep me going. You are my heart, my world and my love for you will only grow.
I love you more than you will ever believe. I hope your next year is even better than the last.
Happy Golden Birthday my boy!
Love,
Mommy
